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Archive for November, 2005

now what?


Dammit Beavis. Tonight I made a sandwich for my bambino’s lunch tomorrow, and, once I remove the lid and peel off the foil, I’m kind of admiring the smooth, semi-glossy surface of the peanut butter (my endorsement for Peter Pan: ‘Honey Roast’ goes here. I doesn’t hit me until I dig a butter knife into it and spread it over the bread that I bought Creamy instead of Crunchy. Cue the muted trombone (‘aw, nuts’ effect).

How could I overlook a detail like this? More importantly, why do I let myself continue with such irresponsibility? Will I ever recover from this unsandwichly funk? Maybe I will, and maybe I will!

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sandwich 7

Many moons have passed since the last Feast of the Sunrise. My people bask in the abundance of this morning’s harvest. I sacrifice my share for the sake of the sandwich pact made seven days before. This sacrifice marks the end of a long journey that honors the sandwich. Peace out.

Sandwich #7: With some toast, eggs, ham, & shredded colby jack, I made myself a fatty breakfast sandwich. Killa!

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sandwich 6

Bread is back! And not just at Jack in the Box. That revolting bastard. I should rather say, “bread is in the house,” and it’s my house, beaatch!

sandwich #6: Home from work. Made a quickie snack sandwich (halfie-style)…make that two…with turkey. Nuked. It’ll sell.

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sandwich 5

Today was most challenging. To be put to the test as I was, it is necessary to dig deep from within. For today was unlike any other day; today I ran out of bread.

sandwich #5: using Ritz crackers, I found some havarti in the workroom fridge to create several cheese sandwiches. I’ll be damned if I skip a day now! On and ever upward!

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sandwich(es) 4

I actually found the motivation to bring lunch to work. I love my lunch; I’ve just seemed to adjust to not eating lunch due to unforeseen circumstances is all. Today I was packin’ with two turkey & cheese sandwiches accompanied by lots of Ruffles to create…

sandwich #4: a Chip Sandwich!!! (‘hero’ voice in effect)…or two. Then maybe a third plain jane at home. That’s it. I am much more comfortable with eating a chip sandwich in public than ever before. I once had a phobia of worrying what other people think. Thank you, chip sandwich. Keep it real, C.

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sandwich 3

I managed to sneak in a ‘suprise attack’ sandwich today. With what resources I had available to me, I prepared my defense post using standard variety sliced bread. The detonation device was disguised as a common white meat, so I was able to conceal it inside of the defense mechanism. While the younger, more inexperienced cadets were feasting on the remainder of the meat, I had just enough time to launch my attack. (A shout-out to Snoopy for the inspiration of making the ordinary extraordinary)

Sandwich #3: Two or three ‘halfie’ sandwiches (that is, one piece of bread doubled over) with 2 chicken nuggets inside. Spontaneous fun for the whole family!

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sandwiches 1 & 2

1 & 2; 1,2. Mic check, 1 2. So I made a promise to myself to repent for National Sandwich Day. Dammit all. In all actuality, I would never intend to keep my promise if I hadn’t written it here days earlier. So now that I’ve started to honor my own words, I might as well keep track.

sandwich #1: on Sunday, 11/6. I made an old favorite that I haven’t seen the likes of since grade school. A weenie sandwich. I love it!! I nuked the weenies (hehe…I said “weenies”), then added a slice of cheese (sharp cheddar single, which, oddly enough, has more flavor than an ‘American’ flavor single. Go figure. Still tastes nothing like a sharp cheddar, though.) on top to be nuked for another 20 seconds. Beep beep beep. Added bread w/ a bit of mayo/mustard; sat down to watch some movie on TBS; yummaaayyyyyyyyy.

sandwich #2: on Monday, 11/7. After work, I made myself a turkey and swiss. (I can fabricate some things, can’t I? This is the net. My conscience bugs me. Yes, dammit; it was the same kind of cheese from yesterday. I’m on a budget this week, alright?) Nuked it. It was pretty good. Not the bomb or anything, but it’ll sell.

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